Borders society

Not everyone goes to Borders to browse or buy their next bit of romanticized erotica from the bargain section or the stale chocolate-filled Koala snacks from the manga aisle. Some go for the express purpose of pickin' up chicks. I was sitting alone at a table for a good portion of the evening, with a pot of Earl Grey tea and 4 enormous cookbooks which I had picked based on two things: one, my hardcover requirement, and two, the attractiveness of the chef pictured on the cover. A winning smile and some honey-colored highlights makes me believe in your unparalleled excellence at cooking spicy Thai cuisine. From behind my tower of books, I glanced up occasionally to see a man, mid-forties and dressed entirely in khaki, staring at me over the pages of his automotive magazine. This presents an always uncomfortable situation, but unfortunately, my arms are in the beginning stages of muscular atrophy from lack of use besides when resting on a keyboard, so moving willy-nilly about the store with forty pounds of book was not an option.

He followed me through the store on my way out. We played hide and seek through two or three aisles before I figured I had lost him, but the tricksy bastard managed to disappear and reappear as I walked out the door, confident of my success. "Hey, what's your name? What were you reading? What'd you buy? Oh fiction? You like fiction?" His overeagerness, stalker tendencies, plus the fact that he was walking with me towards my car did not sit well. I turned around with an idiotic grin plastered on my face, and responded with "Sure, sir, I'm here buying some required reading for school. My high school. Have you ever read Hamlet?"

I've never seen a line work so quickly. And it wasn't entirely a lie... I picked up both Brave New World and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead tonight. I'm attempting to catch up with the high school schooling I glossed over the first time around.

Equally exciting in the way of book purchases: I bought my first ever cookbook. Applause!